Four Cellists! |
To celebrate the achievement of completion of her doctorate, Dr Terry , Peta Ann and Emakhazeni Highlands Lass set off for a girl’s weekend in the Mpumalanga Highlands...of course! This all sound rather simple – not so! Peta Ann’s work schedule as professional cellist with the JPO (Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra ), Terry’s lecture and marking commitments in the Social Work Dept at UJ (the University of Johannesburg), and my too-ing and fro-ing between Gauteng and Mpumalanga took a lot of co-ordinating. Finally, following the wonderful concert by the JPO on Thurs 19th May, after the post concert drinks with the orchestra, and photo of 4 cellists (with varying degrees of competency from top professionals Dmitry Kouzov and Peta Ann, to ‘fit for Alex McCall Smith’s Really Terrible Orchestra’ Terry & I), we rattled off at around 11pm in Terry’s Landrover Defender. Arrival at Absolute Leisure, Machadodorp at 2am was celebrated with a bottle of sparkling wine, and once we had run out of our many words for the day, we retired to bed around 3.
A late start on Friday took us to Kaapsehoop Horse Trails for a beautiful stroll along the scenic escarpment, overlooking rolling valleys www.horsetrails.co.za . No, we weren’t saddled up on the wild horses of Kaapsehoop – heaven forbid!!!! – I was terrified as it was, having not sat on a horse since I was a child. Kaapsehoop is famous for its wild horses, which graze peacefully around the hamlet, eating up the local residents’ flower gardens and grass. The horses are believed to have been left by the gold rush folk who arrived in their masses in Kaapsehoop in the 1800s when it was rumoured that there was “gold in them there hills”. The other theory is that they were left by the British soldiers from the South African Wars of 1900, when they returned to Britain after defeating Oom Kruger and sending him off into exile in Switzerland. Whichever, it’s a beautiful sight to behold these free spirits wandering around the village in small family groups. But back to our horses – which were very big, and also thankfully very placid – it was a wonderful two hours of relaxed stroll, with the more experienced riders having a good gallop back to the stables. Interestingly Peta Ann had family ties with the area, her family having had ownership of one of the gold mines, but alas, things did not pan out (groan!) quite as well as the Oppenheimers!
Part of our weekend’s journey was to share each others’ personal stories. Following graduating as a Social Worker, Terry lived in a commune in the 1980s and practised social work in Soweto. She was under surveillance by the Security Police, being a suspected ANC terrorist in the days when the ANC was a banned organisation, and it was illegal to enter Soweto as a ‘white’ person without a permit.
One night at 0300hr her commune was raided and she was taken into custody, and interned in solitary confinement for 60days. How did she survive the ordeal? She said she just did not know how long she had been in there as one day drifted into the next. She was interrogated daily, and just had no contact with the outside world. Her Mother, who was dying of cancer at the time, persistently phoned the authorities to try to find the whereabouts of her daughter, and this, Terry believes, was the reason they finally released her and dropped charges. This experience resolved her to help even more with the struggle!
Peta Ann is from a highly achieving musical family, and spent her childhood and teens immersed in music, learning cello and ballet. Her choice to become a professional cellist took her to the US to study further, before returning to South Africa. Her Mum was an accomplished pianist who played and composed music as well as teaching. Peta Ann remembers how her Mum was forever travelling in and out of Soweto and other townships in the 1980s to play for black choirs. Peta Ann herself is part of the JPO Cadet project, and teaches a number of young cellists from disadvantaged backgrounds, helping them to reach the high standards required for a professional career in music.
And as for Highlands Lass, my goal is to be a social healer within South Africa; to build trust between our rainbow of peoples and to help massage away the knots caused by South Africa's history. In the rural Mpumalanga Highlands communities there is much low self esteem, poor education, hopelessness, fear of the unknown, fear for the future and anger, which all contribute to mistrust and division of people. And what better vehicle to use than tourism! Tourism offers employment and business opportunity to people of all backgrounds. Traditional and township people can offer their cultures and ways of life, crafters can sell their wares. Dance, drama and music groups can perform. And with further education we can have tour guides for culture, history, environment and ecology, as well as hotel and lodge owners and managers from the very communities that currently see no future for themselves.
Following the horse ride and a fine pub lunch in Kaapsehoop, I took my friends to visit the site of the Mozambican train disaster of 1949 in Waterval Boven, our region’s only piece of Struggle Heritage. Ploughing through the long grass, we arrived at the commemoration plaque – sadly there is still a lot of work to be done to bring this epic story to our tourism visitors. But it will be done. Just last year through the Dept of Heritage, I met one of the train disaster survivors, a dignified Mozambican pastor in his 80s. In 1949 he was travelling home in the fated train after working 18 months as a labourer in the South African gold mines. He remembers waking in the river after the train had fallen a good 100meters from the track over the escarpment down into the valley below. He was taken to the Witbank hospital where he stayed for 6 months while his broken leg and back healed. On being discharged from hospital, he was given the same blood encrusted, dirty clothes he had been cut out of, to return home to his family. He was lucky. 63 of his fellow passengers are buried in the ‘black’ graveyard in Emgwenya township, Waterval Boven.
For our evening’s entertainment I had chosen the Wee Jazz Pub ( +27 72 915 7378 / +27 13 255 0726) in Siyathuthuka township, Belfast. Now it’s not routine for 3 middle-aged ‘white’ women to got jolling (partying) in the ‘black’ township, especially in the Emakhazeni Highlands of Mpumalanga but that is precisely why we went. We met Winny and some of her friends outside the Wee Jazz and chatted for a while in the street. Sadly for us, Winny, the business owner of Wee Jazz, had been up for the last 60 hours counting votes at our Municipal elections as part of the Independant Electoral Commission, being a thoroughly upright citizen. She was not up to an evening of revelry so the Pub was closed. Conventionally we returned to Belfast and tried out the newly opened Moulin Rouge Restaurant (+27 82 099 3849 / +27 84 430 5169) in Belfast. Their De Luxe Pizza ‘Moulin Rouge’ I would highly recommend, and the ambiance was good.
Saturday morning saw us in the front garden of Absolute Leisure praising God through a 6 meditative symbolic movement sequences as taught by Terry:
1 Letting go of anger ( mimicking a bird flapping its wings)
2 Opening our hearts to new relationships (extending our hands outward from our hearts)
3 Painting a rainbow in the sky (just that)
4 Offering the Earth up for global peace (lifting a large imaginary ball up to the sky)
5 Playing with the world (bouncing a large imaginary ball between hands and feet)
6 Flying like Geese (or like an aeroplane while circling the garden)
So this was yet another confirmation to Machadodorp village of my off-the-wallish-ness. Being different takes courage and conviction, but its worth it for the greater good.
I had yet another tourist attraction to take my friends to in Machadodorp in the limited time we still had. The Machado Butchery, where Marina makes the best biltong (spiced and dried raw meat) in the whole of South Africa! People come from far and wide and take kilos of Marina’s biltong with them wherever they go. Her phone number is +27 13 256 0323. I have watched Marina’s kids grow up from babies in this wonderful shop. Marina does her best to get me speaking Afrikaans, having heard that I was on my 3rd attempt to learn a couple of years ago, but alas, it seems like I’m a hopeless case! Saturday saw us return to Johannesburg revitalised and refreshed, and ready to get back to........things.
It sounds like you've had a fantastic few days spent with some wonderful people. Terry is clearly a very courageous lady and you are all doing amazing things for the country you clearly love.
ReplyDeleteI've really enjoyed reading your post. And because of Mr McCall Smith, I knew what biltong was! I feel rather cultured!
Thanks Blossom
ReplyDeletePeta Ann & Terry are amazing, incredible women, and I count myself privileged to be their friend. Terry has recently borrowed my 44 Scotland Street series, and is loving it! Indeed you are a cultured British follower to know what biltong is!
I have been thinking, no pondering, over what to advise you regarding your Mother ever since the arrival of the dreaded letter last week. Constructive procrastination comes to mind! When not prepared, Mothers do have a way of reverting us back to the small children they were able to dominate, and that is really not what you need at the moment.
I’m not sure how you have got over the loss of your marriage, but I have done it by forgiveness. By seeing and understanding the man in the context of his upbringing with all the hurt he has suffered, I know that he did what he did not deliberately to hurt me, but because he is unable to function otherwise. He cannot face the truth of the person he really is, so cannot grow and handle life’s experiences maturely and lovingly. It has been a long and hard road, and I continually have to face my negativity and anger and replace it with forgiveness again and again, but it is worth it.
Though I cannot presently forgive your Mum for the abuse she allowed to happen to you and your sisters, I would advise you to work on forgiving her, hence the constructive procrastination. As you have said she had a very dysfunctional upbringing which does not excuse her neglect of you as children, but is most certainly a contributing factor. She knew not what she was doing, and is and was obviously a very unempowered person, unlike yourself. And it took me a long time to understand the advantages of forgiveness to the forgiver. It takes away the hurt, anger, bitterness, etc and builds self esteem and serenity. Of course it should be her who is coming to you asking for forgiveness, but you cannot make decisions for her or have control over her, only over yourself. Its a long and hard road, but the rewards are worth it. And when you are ready you will be able to make peace with her before she leaves the planet. My dear friend, I hope this is of some help to you. Much love as always.
Thank you. I text my mom yesterday and arranged to meet her. I'm seeing her tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it as I can tell my mother is very keen, and I'm not, but I have every intention of only letting things go at my pace. I'm not ready for hugs and effusive signs of emotion from her just yet.
ReplyDeleteAs for getting over my marriage, I left Richard for a number of reasons. He was obsessed with watching porn, and had downloaded in excess of five hundred movies which he had hidden around the house. The children regularly came across them. He treated me as his prostitute, where I had no say in that part of our relationship; I was expected to perform whenever he was in the mood, if I dared to show any sign that I didn't want to I was called frigid and he still took what he wanted anyway. He was also very emotionally distant with the boys and me and was very verbally abusive with me. In the latter months of our marriage he was encouraging the boys to verbally abuse me as well. This was the last straw. And yet, when I left, I felt huge amounts of guilt for leaving him. The guilt has long gone, and the man, as a person, I am indifferent to. How he treats my children is another matter and that I will take a long time to forgive. Having come from a dysfunctional family, I was determined my boys would not be blighted by my experiences and yet they are suffering now at the hands of their bitter father. His own childhood, by the way, was charmed. He was born into a comfortably well off family, with a mother who adored him and who shamelessly favoured him over his sister. Whatever he wanted, he got. I think that is half his problem. It's that old saying of knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
I got in touch with my mom because I felt pretty much what you have said above. My mother never had any sense of power over her own life. And I believe that if she had the courage to reach out to me the least I can do is hear what she has to say.
Thank you very much for your support.
Dear Blossom,
ReplyDeleteYou have been through hard times. I so admire you for being able to just write it alldown and get it out there in such an objective way. You are an amazing woman! And after all that you have been through, you have your priorities right; to look after your own sanity and the wellbeing of your kids. I’m wishing you well for your meeting with your Mother today. Know that your followers and friends are there for you, and don’t expect great things of your Mother. With much love as always.
Thank you very much, your words are much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteFor some stupid reason, got my days of the week mixed up yesterday; I was convinced it was Wednesday! I think it was because I went into uni to see a lecturer and I usually see him on Wednesdays, so it threw me out. It was Thursday that I arranged to see my mom, so it's tomorrow that it happens. I'll get there, eventually!
I'm feeling rather anxious about it, not looking forward to it at all, but it will soon be over. Hope all is going well with you.
Blossom,
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine. Just be the objective, empowered, amazing person that you are now. Dont get drawn into becoming the vulnerable child you were. You can do it! Much love as ever.
Thank you so much for that. I've just been having a wobbly moment and your kind words were just what I needed. I think we can revert so easily to feeling like children when we are around our parents; we forget what we have achieved as adults and let ourselves be reduced to something small.
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know how I get on. X